Joseph Nicholas Selby Jr.

For generations of Maryland families, The Enchanted Forest in Ellicott City was a place of magic, a fairytale world brought to life. The man who managed that magic was Joseph Nicholas Selby Jr., a 56-year-old male who was known as a pillar of the community. Joseph, who had reportedly studied under Walt Disney, was beloved by his employees, many of whom he had given their first jobs. He and his wife, Betty, 51, had been married for nearly 40 years and had built a life with three children and several grandchildren. Their family and friends remembered them as hardworking people without any enemies, making the horror of their final moments all the more incomprehensible.

On the evening of Friday, March 6, 1981, Joseph and Betty stopped for a drink with friends at the Friendly Inn, a local restaurant on Frederick Road, after a long work week. They decided to go home to their house nearby at 12102 Frederick Road to rest before heading back out to listen to a bluegrass band that was playing later that night. They never made it back. While the couple napped in their home, an arsonist set the house ablaze. At approximately 9:40 p.m., the fire was reported. Joseph and Betty Selby both died from smoke inhalation as they slept.

The Howard County Police Department investigation almost immediately uncovered a tragic likelihood: the arsonist had attacked the wrong house. Detectives believe the motive for the fire stemmed from a bar fight that had occurred five or six years earlier, in 1975. In that altercation, the couple’s nephew, Johnny Selby Jr., was stabbed several times but survived. His attacker was sent to prison. Investigators theorize that upon his release, the man sought revenge.

Police believe the arsonist drove down Frederick Road looking for his target’s home. He came upon a mailbox marked “J. N. Selby” and assumed he had found the home of John Selby Jr. But the initials stood for Joseph Nicholas Selby Jr. The intended victim, John Selby Jr., lived further down the same road. In a devastating case of mistaken identity, the arsonist set fire to Joseph and Betty’s home, a fire that police noted was set when it should have been obvious the house was occupied.

For more than four decades, the case has haunted the Selby family and the detectives assigned to it. "I don't see any reason why any of this should've happened," their daughter-in-law Fran Selby said in a police video. "It's still a mystery." Their son, Joe Selby III, recalled the horror of arriving at the fire and being told two people were inside. "I just about collapsed," he said. The couple’s grandson, who was almost six years old, was supposed to stay at their house that night. “There’s things in your mind that you’ll never erase like the smells of fire,” he remembered. “I’ll never forget that.”

The investigation into the murders of Joseph and Betty Selby remains an active cold case with the Howard County Police Department. A detective on the case keeps the family’s scorched mailbox above his desk as a daily reminder, vowing to return it once the killer is brought to justice. While no suspects have ever been publicly named or charged, investigators have continued to work the case, re-examining evidence with modern DNA technology. "They did choose the wrong house," a cold case detective stated, reaffirming the department's belief that the beloved couple were innocent victims of a misdirected plot for revenge.

As of March 2025, the double homicide remains unsolved. The family believes someone has information but may have been too afraid to come forward. "Someone knows something," Joe Selby III has said. The Howard County Police Department is offering a reward of up to $30,000 for any information that leads to a resolution in the case. Anyone with tips is urged to call 410-313-STOP or email [email protected], where they can remain anonymous.